The sound of boots on the decking, and a flash of red coats and brass helmets resound and then...recede. Perfect, they ran right past me. Alright, time to get moving. This plan went to bollocks right quick eh? Oh wait who are you? Crap all this already happened so I'm presuming you're in my head reliving it. Well fair enough, join the ride for now things get exciting soon. So here I am, standing aboard the A.S PROVIDENCE, with a nice little package tucked neatly under my arm. Mind you, I have no idea what's in there. By weight and feel I'm guessing a big stack of papers, but I may or may not have stolen them from a bunch of official lookin' types an hour or so ago. Alright you caught me, I stole them. But that's the job ain't it?
You know you ask a lot of questions, the A.S PROVIDENCE, is an airship based out of the greater Victos Empire. Mind you she's not a military vessel, more like a cruise liner meant for the rich and privileged to travel the air ways in style. She's big, slow, and usually full of nobility, government types, and the various servants, guards and what have you that accompany them. I'm backtracking too much lets get back to the here and now.
As I step out into the furnished hallway from my cozy hiding spot in a wall recess aboard this cruise airship I take a moment to get my bearings. Mind you when you're working off a hand-drawn charcoal map on a scrap of paper that some bloke wrote from memory, and a gin-soaked memory it is, that's harder than one would imagine. Blight it, I'm going...right. Seems fair enough right? Haha, right right. I crack myself up sometimes. Don't judge me, I can't always be witty and this is a high stress moment.
I set off trying to make as little noise as possible, taking a few lefts and rights, some arbitrarily others by the map when I think I recognize something. I'm into the more narrow passages now, the ones meant for maintenance and guard crews. The doors I pass are mostly the big utilitarian kind you'd expect to find on large airships, all brass fittings and heavy levers meant to keep them sealed should something go wrong. I move along past the boiler room, and I tell you there is nothing quite like the thrumming power you feel and the oppressive heat that emanates from behind that large door. A few more turns that may or may not have been taken at random and I'm back in the more wide passages meant for passengers. Well I passed the boiler room already so I'm relatively sure this door should lead out to a maintenance hallway, that I can take to the machine bay. Then its just a hop and a skip with a air-bike and I'm back safe and sound.
As the door creaks open I realize my mistake just a few moments too late. I probably should have looked up from the map as I walked in. Arrayed around the various bunks and crates in the room are men in red and brass. Most of them are wearing their full gear and the few who aren't helmeted stare at me incredulously. Wouldn't you if the thief you're supposed to catch walked into the guards quarters?
“Well...bollocks they need to label doors around here I think.” alright think fast, “here I was lookin' for the pisser! Don't mind me lads, I'll be on my way. Just uh, can ya point me in the general direction of a 'fresher? Be awful kind of ya”
That should do it. Just a man in need of a urinal.
This is about the time when things get a little dicey, men shout and orders are exchanged in properly militaristic fashion. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks here. I wonder if these guard types have to study a script for moments like this. Its always “OI THERE HE GOES!” “ITS THE THIEF!” “STOP HIM STOP HIM” You really can do that by rote. Mind you I only hear them as I run, so maybe I'm only catching bits and pieces. That's hardly the point now though. I can feel the bullets whiz past, fortunately their aim is inverse in relation to how snazzy their uniforms are so as I take this corner they hit the wall instead of me. Alright a few more corners and...crap.
Dead end.
This is about the time all those adrenaline rush senses kick in, I swear its a unique experience. You're standing on the cusp of greeting a hooded man by a boat on a dark river. You're senses retract inward and suddenly you're seeing only what you absolutely need to. I'm in a square, no way I can get to that door in time, but their's a recess on the side nearby with a statue. A slight tug pulls that out and gives me a bit of cover. I'm by a wall window. That could go badly, but don't think about that right now, wait is that my-. Here they are finally caught up. What do I have on me? Crap crap crap crap. One of them is raising his rifle. Big gaudy contraptions those are, drum fed and who knows what those tubes do. Probably pneumatic.
Wait.
Why did they stop him from firing?
Oh. Alright this might work out for me.
“Come out with your hands up! We have you surrounded!” What the hell is this? I swear these guards are like walking cliches out of a penny dreadful. Gotta stall for time, get my breather out.
“No!” not my wittiest but that works for now.
“er...Come out or we will be forced to open fire!” odd turn of phrase when they're using air guns.
“I'm holding what's probably government papers. That's gotta be something like treason. You'll shoot me anyway!”
“Well...yes but-”
“but nothing! You know you really shouldn't admit that kind of thing to a person you're trying to get to surrender. I mean you're pretty much saying you'll shoot me either way yea? Not really an incentive. I mean if you had said 'well no we won't if you come out politely we can all enjoy tea and...and uh...” almost got it hooked up “whats them little cakes? Ya know the fancy ones posh folk like to eat?”
“Petit-fours?” “shut up thats not important!” ah one of them ain't that bright. Too bad, I wish he were in charge. I can hear shuffling feet they must be moving to rush me.
“Yea petit-fours. Those. I like the ones with the marmalade in the middle of them. If you said we'd be enjoying those and a good english breakfast tea I'd be jumping out. This would all be a misunderstanding, but now you're saying you're gonna shoot me. Well piss to you sir!” Perfect, shove my mask on, and pray to the brass gilded angel it's on proper.
Time to make a dramatic escape. I pull out my revolver and stand out, even behind masks I can tell this is surprising. Looks like they all have full kit on, means they have grappels. Good don't want anyone to get hurt after all. I turn and fire four rounds into the glass, and it spiderwebs quite nicely. I manage to holster my gun quickly, don't want to lose it after all. I think I hear them scream out the order to hook in before the glass blows out. At this height the difference in pressure inside and outside pulls everything right out of ship thats not held down. Fortunately this includes me. That's why they compartmentalize these airships, if a window goes you only lose a small section. I manage to curl into a ball as I'm pulled out holding the package close. All I can hear now is rushing wind and I pivot in the air to see my own ship hovering there. I'm glad they saw me blow out the window, they've already got the ladder out. I swear Lily probably guessed what I was doing, I think she's psychic sometimes. As I rush past I briefly think to myself “this is about to hurt” and grab a rung of the swaying ladder wrenching my shoulder. I wasn't at terminal velocity so I don't pull my arm out of its socket. It still hurts mind you, but its nothing that cant be fixed.
I can't help myself and start laughing in my mask, all that fear and adrenaline coming out loudly. As we pull up and about I get a good look at the men hooked in staring at me. They probably think I planned this whole thing. Well good the legend of Captain Jancer grows! Ha! I wave the package at them enjoying this feeling of victory. Another job well done I say.
Wait who's that guy in black? He wasn't there before. He's hefting a rifle now. I don't really hear the bullet whiz past but I feel the blast as it tears through the package throwing loose papers and shredding what was in it. That right bastard just...I was so close! Thats not fair! We pull away before he can make a repeat performance of marksmanship on my gut and the ladder is pulled in. Lily is glaring at me with her almond shaped eyes, gods and gears I can FEEL the displeasure from her. As I'm hoisted in by Lug she tilts her head at the tatters I still clutch. All I manage as I pull my mask up is a meek
“Well...that wasn't quite according to plan was it?”
